Saturday, August 9, 2008

How To Start A Cult

Hi kids! Today we are going to go over one of the best ways to start a Cult.

First thing is, you have to be a lunatic, very important. Then you need a computer and Internet access. Got it? Ok, lets begin.

Rent a large house, you will need this for your followers. Keep it very clean and get others to do most of the work, if at all possible.

Ok, remember that computer? Get on that and setup sites on some social networking sites and start trolling. You are looking for candidates that appear "nice". These people can often have low self esteem. This is a must, because any strong willed target will pull away from you in a hurry. You can use any of the on-line dating sites too.

Once you have your deer in the headlights, strike. Tell the you love them as soon as possible. Tell them everything you like about them (make up stuff). Say how much you like that they listen to what you tell them to do. Be nice when you first meet them and always compliment the target. This will pay off later.

Some basic rules; Accept no eye rolling. All meals will have a meat, side and vegetable. Never let them talk back to you and if they do, say "you are like all the rest". You are always right. Be commanding in bed and talk about fantasies, then try to make those all come true, no matter how perverted.

Once you have their trust, separate them from their current environment, on say...a trip somewhere. This is where you can have lots of sexy time and keep up the compliments. If everything is going good, you can even raise the idea of merging all of your financial accounts. You will need that money to grow the cult.

After a few more weeks, propose and get that ring on the finger. I know polygamy if frowned upon, so just stay engaged. All this time, you need to keep on trolling on your social sites, for more cult members.

Get the candidate to move in, this makes them a member! By now you should have all of their accounts merged with yours.

Your candidate's friends and families will leave them over time and the target will have only you to look to for acceptance. Give that gladly, then tell them to stop talking about you to anyone.

If one of your candidates leaves, don't let go. Keep talking to them and saying how much you love them. Be very hurt that they left you, cry a lot. Get them back on board and back in the compound.

I know this sounds like a lot of work, and it is, but the payoff of having your own cult with you at the center is priceless.

Get moving kids! Good luck.

(I write this out of spite for the dick who is doing this to someone I used to call a friend.)

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