I am today officially announcing my candidacy for President of the USA in the election year 2020. This gives me plenty of time to gather funds and get my message out. It will also take some time to figure out what my message actually is or what “party” I would be part of.
I think my platform will be based on stamping out stupidity and will probably be made of pine wood. I would impose abortion on those deemed stupid, so we can beef up the gene pool. Is that too controversial? If it is, just disregard it, because I don’t think I’m really qualified to decide who is or is not stupid. I might have to think about this more, but I have time on my side.
By 2020 the wars should be over and I figure the middle east problems will be settled, one way or another. Social Security will have imploded by then, and will no longer exist. The terrorist’s will have blown all of themselves up. Global warming will have been proven to be a farce. So I won’t have any issues to worry about, so I will probably just run based on my snappy magnetic personality and boyish good looks.
If you would like to contribute to my campaign, please send your entire wallet to the address below.
BozThx 2020 Presidential Campaign
North Pole, 00001
(Not Santa’s place)
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